Sarah Gillanders opens up about everything from her late mum’s heartbreaking battle with alcoholism and failed relationships to dealing with horrendous online trolls and most importantly, what it’s like to marry a stranger.
Let’s face it; we’re all guilty of judging people from afar.
And judgement is something Sarah Gillanders from Aberdeen knows only too well after she married a complete stranger on TV.
Unlucky in love and fed-up of dating apps, the 32-year-old recruitment consultant took a leap of faith and signed up for Married at First Sight UK – a Channel 4 reality show where single people, matched by experts, marry total strangers.
Viewers who tuned into the reality TV show over the last few months will undoubtedly have already formed their own opinions about Sarah.
But my aim is to challenge those preconceptions and find out who the real Sarah Gillanders is.
In this candid interview, Sarah opens up about everything from her late mum’s heartbreaking battle with alcoholism and failed relationships to dealing with horrendous online trolls and most importantly, what it’s like to marry a stranger on TV.
Sarah wears her heart on her sleeve in this interview. Image: Scott Baxter/DC Thomson
“It has been a journey,” laughs Sarah.
“The experience has changed my perspective on life.
“I have absolutely no regrets as it has been a learning experience.
“How many people can say that they’ve married a stranger on TV – it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.
“I’ve taken a lot of things from it and I feel like I’ve grown as a person.”
Life before MAFS…
A world away from the glitz and glamour of the TV world, Sarah’s journey to reality stardom begins in the small Aberdeenshire village of Auchenblae near Laurencekirk.
“It’s a very small place and it’s completely rural so it was a lovely place to grow up,” says Sarah.
“I went to Mearns Academy and I’m still friends with the girls that I went to school with.
“When I was younger, I loved musical theatre so that was what I wanted to do.”
Sarah opens up about her childhood in rural Aberdeenshire. Image: Scott Baxter/DC Thomson
‘My mum’s battle with alcohol addiction’
But when Sarah was 12 her life started to change.
“My dad Ian was a doctor at the time and my mum Julie had previously worked as a nurse,” says Sarah.
“I was about 12 when I started to find empty bottles of alcohol at home and after school, I would come home and find my mum asleep on the couch.
“So I very quickly started to recognise signs that maybe there was a problem.”
Sarah says her late mum Julie, pictured, was an amazing person but faced a battle with alcoholism. Image: Sarah Gillanders
‘The demons would take over’
Sadly, Sarah’s mum Julie was battling alcohol addiction.
“She wasn’t like that all the time,” says Sarah.
“Like many alcoholics, she would go through periods when it was great and she was mum again and it was normal.
“But unfortunately, the demons would take over and she was back in that cycle again.
“So that went on for a number of years.”
Sarah pictured with her late mum Julie and her brother. Image: Sarah Gillanders
‘It was so tough’
Back then, Sarah says the support for families dealing with alcohol addiction just wasn’t there.
“It was really difficult and we tried to get her the help she needed,” says Sarah.
“But our hands were tied as she had to agree to go to rehab which is something she wouldn’t do because she didn’t think she had a problem.
“It was so tough.”
Rubbing shoulders with celebs at Malmaison…
After leaving school, Sarah moved to Aberdeen to study events management at Robert Gordon University while juggling work at the Malmaison Hotel which is where she experienced her first taste of fame.
“I absolutely loved working at Malmaison as I met some incredible people,” says Sarah.
“I met Craig David who was so lovely.
“Some of the other celebs I met included Billy Connolly, Alex Ferguson and David Cameron, who was Prime Minister at the time.”
Sarah loved working at the Malmaison Hotel in Aberdeen. Image: Scott Baxter/DC Thomson
Coping with the devastating loss of her ‘amazing mum’
While studying and working, Sarah was also supporting her mum alongside her devoted dad Ian and her younger brother.
“They eventually sold the family home and moved up to Aberdeen too,” says Sarah.
“That’s when things got worse for my mum.”
After being in and out of hospital with liver problems, her mum sadly died in 2015, leaving Sarah, who was just 22, absolutely devastated.
In this candid sit-down interview, Sarah Gillanders opens up life before and after the show
Sarah was 22 when her mum died. Image: Scott Baxter/DC Thomson
‘Alcoholism can happen to anyone’
Instead of dwelling on the heartache though, Sarah cherishes the special moments.
“My mum was amazing and she loved having people round especially my friends.
“She was a great host as she would make big pots of soup and sandwiches and we would have big spreads of food.
“She was always making sure everyone was OK.
“When you talk about an alcoholic or an addict, people immediately think about people on the streets or certain types of families but it can happen to anyone.”
Sarah, pictured with her beloved pooch Mika. Image: Sarah Gillanders
‘My dad’s devotion to my mum inspired me to go on MAFS’
Going through this heartache and witnessing her dad Ian support her mum throughout her illness is one of the reasons that Sarah was inspired to find love on TV.
“My dad stuck by my mum right to the end,” says Sarah.
“That was one of the reasons I went on Married at First Sight as I wanted to find a relationship with someone who will stick by you right until the very end.”
After years of being unlucky in love, Sarah decided she had nothing to lose and signed up for the hit Channel 4 show Married at First Sight.
“I went through six months of castings, zoom calls and interviews so when I got accepted for the show, I was absolutely buzzing,” says Sarah.
“My dad was super excited too.
“He was like ‘if you’re happy, I’m happy.”
Sarah can’t put into words how much she loves her dad Ian. Image Sarah Gillanders
‘MAFS was a rollercoaster’
Describing the experience as a ‘rollercoaster’, Sarah says she’ll never forget the moment before she walked down the aisle not knowing who was waiting for her at the end.
“I have never been so nervous in my entire life and I’m a pretty confident person,” says Sarah.
“The TV production crew are everywhere and there’s cameras all over the place.
“A real wedding would be overwhelming anyway but then put all this into the mix, I was like ‘what am I doing’.
“I was like ‘dad I don’t think I can do this’.
“Production were like ‘you need to go on in two minutes and I was like I actually don’t think I can do this’.
“Then the TV crew said, ‘three, two, one, go’ and I walked down the aisle.”
Sarah pictured with her ‘husband’ Dean Vary. Image: Channel 4
‘I’ve found a friend for life in Dean’
Anyone who has watched the show will know that Sarah instantly struggled to find a romantic spark with her new husband Dean Vary.
And after plenty of highs and lows, the couple decided to call time on their relationship mid-way through the experiment, instead becoming firm friends.
“We got on so well in terms of our personalities as we love a laugh,” says Sarah.
“The reason you’re there is for a romantic relationship but I just couldn’t get there.
“It was so frustrating because I really wanted to get there and you’re surrounded my couples so it’s a lot of pressure.
“But Dean was my biggest support throughout it as I did really struggle.
“I’m so grateful that I’ve found a friend for life.”
Sarah says Dean was a massive support throughout the experiment. Image: Channel 4
‘I’m just enjoying life after MAFS right now’
An eternal optimist, Sarah refuses to give up on finding love, inspired by her dad Ian who has found happiness again with his ‘amazing’ partner Annie.
“I’m delighted that my dad has found Annie as she is absolutely lovely and the nicest person,” says Sarah.
“He deserves it.”
And apart from having to delete and block some truly awful online trolls, Sarah couldn’t be happier at this point in her life.
“I’m quite content just with living and working in Aberdeen as all my friends and family are here,” says Sarah.
“I’m excited to see what happens next but I’m just enjoying life now.”